


What I Need isn't what you Want.

by JBGRiMm



Category: Defiance (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-03-30 18:59:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3948058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JBGRiMm/pseuds/JBGRiMm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Need/Wants newest night-porter may be more than meets the eye. </p><p>Sorry for the vague summary but I don't want to give away too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Private Evers squinted against the harsh sun. The wind was blowing through the Bissel Pass, flinging the dust from the road up to the sentry post at the stasis net. Also it was cold, he’d missed breakfast that morning, his shift didn't end for another two hours, and five days before they’d found out that some kind of ark fall had destroyed New York City. In short, it wasn't the best day.

He turned to the other sentry and asked “How much does this suck?”

“Alot,” she replied, not taking her eyes off the road. Evers sighed inwardly. Private Mesque wasn't exactly what you’d call chatty.

“Sorry you got roped into sentry duty Mesque,” he said.

“No problem, besides, McKenzie’s on sick leave,” she said.

“I don’t blame her,” he said, feeling sorry for his usual shift mate. Her whole family had lived in New York.

“Did you have anybody in New York?” he asked. Mesque shook her head. “Me neither. My dad lives in New Chicago,” he said. They lapsed into silence, scanning the empty road for any sign of life. after what felt like an hour, Evers checked his watch, to find it had only been five minutes. He was about to groan in frustration when Mesque said

“What is that?”

She pulled out her binoculars and held them to her face, scanning the road. Evers look out and saw a bit of movement far down the road.

“It’s a person, but they’re covered up so I can’t tell you if they’re human or alien,” said Mesque, passing the binoculars to Evers. He peered through them, and saw a figure walking towards them at an even pace, pack slung over its shoulders, head covered by a scarf. He frowned. Who the hell travelled on foot through the badlands?

“You call it in, I’ll get down there,” said Mesque, already headed for the stairs.

“On it,” said Evers, already reaching for his radio. Hitting the talk button, he heard a brief burst of static before a voice on the other end said

“Report Private?”

“We have movement at the Bissel Pass sir.”

“How many?”

“One, on foot,” said Evers. There was silence on the other end, and then the sergeants voice came though again.

“Repeat, private, did you say one person on foot?”

“Yes sir, I did.”

“Any weapons?” asked the sergeant. “None visible, sir.”

“Alright, get down there and handle this routinely, radio in if anything else seems suspicious.”

“Yes sir.”

“Over and out,” said the sergeant, and then the static came back. Evers switched off the radio and headed for the stairs. Mesque was waiting on the ground, rifle already unslung from her shoulder. Evers followed suit, and silently, they watched the figure draw closer. He’d started walking faster the closer he got to the net, probably eager to leave the badlands. As he approached, Evers saw from the build that it was a man, and his skin was human tanned, not Castithan white or Irathient bronze. His clothes were worn and covered with dust from the road, and he was carrying a large nylon backpack. Poking over his left shoulder was the hilt of an old world Japanese style sword, but as he approached the stasis net he held his hands up to show he was unarmed.

“Stop!” said Mesque, holding up her gun. The man stopped, frozen.

“Uncover your face and identify yourself,” said Evers, raising his gun. The man unwrapped the scarf, revealing himself to be a young man, perhaps early twenties, with dark brown hair and intense pale grey eyes, with a slight beard that truly made him look very handsome, Evers thought. He pushed that thought down Wait till later, he thought.

“My name is Keith Sullivan,” he said.

“Where are you from and why are you coming here?” asked Evers.

“I’m from New York City, and I’m here looking for work."

Evers and Mesque inadvertently flinched at the mention of New York City, and Keith looked confused.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re one lucky piece of shtako,” said Mesque, smiling thinly “New York City was destroyed five days ago.”

“What?” he said, disbelief spreading across his face “What happened?”

“Arkfall is what everyone is saying,” said Evers.

“Thats terrible, I left just two weeks ago, how could it….” Keith stopped. “Can I lower my hands please?” he asked.

“Slowly,” said Mesque, gun still trained on him. Keith lowered his hands.

“Why are you on foot?” She asked. “Land coach broke down leaving New Chicago, so I decided to walk it,” Keith replied.

“You decided to walk through the badlands all by yourself?” asked Mesque disbelievingly.

“I spent the first twelve years of my life in a mining community in Topeka. I’m no stranger to the badlands,” Keith replied.

“What made you leave?” asked Evers, curious.

“If I answer, can I go through?” asked Keith, a slight note of humor in his voice.

“We’ll need to see the contents of your bag, check you for signs of disease, and confiscate any firearms you have,” said Mesque, shooting Evers an annoyed, business-like look.

“I don’t have any firearms,” he replied, stepping forward. Mesque led him into the small metal building at the base of the stasis net, used for screenings, motioning for Evers to get back up to the sentry post for guard duty. As Evers headed up to the sentry post, he thought about the handsome young man who was going to be staying in Defiance. He was obviously very strong, you’d have to be to survive the Badlands especially without a firearm, and Evers liked his guys strong. He decided that after he’d had dinner he’d head over to the Need/Want, grab a drink and Mahsuvus and get some good screwing in, the perfect way to make up for the shtako day. The thought pleased him greatly until he remembered- Mahsuvus Gorath had been shot after it was found out he was a spy for the Votanis Collective. Private Evers sighed as he made it back to the sentry post.

It really wasn't the best day.


	2. Chapter 2

Amanda Rosewater was at the bar, inspecting it before the evening’s business got too heavy. She added to the growing mental list that they were running low on asta leaf crisps and pow jerky, and the nagging task of ordering more blue absinthe, their signature drink, was going to have to be done sometime before the end of the week. Despite having so much to do, it came as almost a relief when someone sat down at the bar and she had to turn around to help them, momentarily abandoning the towering amount of restocking she’d have to handle later. She didn't recognize the person sitting there, and he had quite a striking face. Sun tanned fair skin, dark brown hair and beard with intense grey eyes- not a face you’d forget easily. She made a quick note of his clothes- nearly worn out and covered in dust, and decided he was probably new to Defiance. She put on her most welcoming smile, and walked down the bar to him.

“Welcome to Defiance, and well done,” she said. He looked up at her, eyebrow slightly raised.

“For what?” he asked, mildly puzzled.

“Well, you just found your way to the best bar and brothel this side of the Storm Divide,” she said, modulating her voice so it sounded teasing, but also serious. The young man grinned.

“I should probably have a drink then, to celebrate,” he said.

“I think you should too,” she said “what’re you in the mood for celebrating with?”

“Hmm,” the man, screwing up his face in thought “since I’m new here…how about you surprise me?”

“Hmm, a man with a taste for adventure. You’re going to love it here,” said Amanda, before she turned and mixed the first drink she could think of. She came back with a dark cocktail in a small tumbler, with a tiny alien fruit slotted onto the rim. Putting it down in front of the man, he held it up, and inspected it, his eyebrows drawing close together.

“It’s a real Defiance original- a Bissel Beep,” supplied Amanda “go ahead, try it.” The man looked at her, smiled, and took a sip. His brow crinkled in surprise.

“It’s spicy, but kind of sweet,” he said “I like it.”

“Glad to hear it, I hate to make people pay for things they don’t like,” she said.

“How much is it?” he asked. “Five scrip,” she said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wrinkled five note, placing it on the bar. She took the money and tucked it into her bra, and then turned back to him.

“So, what brings you to our little town?” she asked.

“Ah, needed a new job,” he said “my last job was in New York, wind turbine maintenance. Pay was shtako and the job wasn't worth the time it took.”

“New York?” asked Amanda, her tone dropping instantly from shock.

“I’m guessing I really was the last person to know about New York,” he said, taking another sip from his drink. He looked up at her “Did you have anyone there?”

Amanda remembered her job and regained her composure.

“No, not anymore,” she said “So, what do you plan to do here?”

“Eh, I’m not really sure, I heard the mines are hiring,” he said, and Amanda heard a note of distaste in his voice.

“You don't sound too happy about that,” she said, her personal, caring side coming out despite herself. Maybe it was because he was so young.

“I’m not,” he said, throwing his drink back “I spent two years working in the Topeka mines, and I’m not eager to go back to it. But hey, a job’s a job, right?” He put the glass down on the bar, and then started to get up.

“You’re not going already, are you?” asked the young woman walking up to the bar and seating herself down next to the man. She leaned back, allowing the belly shirt she was wearing to show off her full assets.

“Wouldn’t you rather stay?” she said, coyly. Amanda smiled, pleased at how well Nya was doing. The man looked interested, no…appreciative, Amanda realized.

“I’m not sure,” he replied, smiling slightly “what happens if I stay?”

“I give lovely hot oil massages that are wonderful at relieving stress, and after we’re done with that there are other things I can to to help you become more…relaxed,” Nya said suggestively. The man's smile broadened.

“Well, that certainly sounds like fun…” he said. Nya smiled back. “…but I’m sorry, I couldn't appreciate it fully,” he finished, looking truly regretful.

Nya looked confused, Amanda noted.

“Why not? I’m sure you’re girlfriend wouldn't mind you having a little fun..” she started, but he cut her off.

“Oh, I don’t have a girlfriend, and what you’ve just described sounds wonderful. The only problem is, I wouldn't be able to appreciate you back as much as you deserve, because of my…preferences.” A moment of confusion flashed through Nya's eyes before the realization hit her.

“And I’m sorry, but I think a truly beautiful girl like yourself deserves only the best, “ he finished. Behind the bar, Amanda found herself smiling a genuine smile, pleased that the man was showing such courtesy. Nya was smiling too.

“Oh, it’s no trouble. If you like, I could get Rydak to come over, he’s exceptionally skilled,” she said.

“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. I need to start looking for work as soon as possible. But thank you, very much,” he said. Nya smiled again, and then got up and headed for a table in the back where a few Castithans were smoking at a hookah. The man got up, and then turned to look at Amanda.

“Thank you for the drink, it really was very good. I’m sure I’ll be back in here again,” he said, and then he turned to go.

“Wait a minute,” said Amanda. The man turned back, and fixed her with his beautiful grey eyes. She walked out from behind the bar, and stood in front of him. She ran her eyes up and down his figure, and made her decision.

“Come upstairs. I’d like to talk to you,” she said. His eyes took on a questioning look, but he moved to comply, reaching down and slinging a large backpack onto his shoulders, along with samurai sword. Amanda made a quick note of that before she turned and headed upstairs, signaling Bailey to tend the bar. She led the way to her room, opening the door and ushering the man inside. She closed the door behind them, and directed him to a pair of chairs by the window. He sat down, placing his pack on the floor, and waited while she settled herself into the other chair. She surveyed him for a moment, and then began.

“How strongly are you attached to your plan to work at the gulanite mines?” she asked.

“Not terribly, if something better came up,” he said without a moments hesitation.

“And by something better, you mean…?” asked Amanda, wanting clarification.

“Something that isn't working in the gulanite mines that pays well,” he replied.

“Well, how do you feel about night porting?” she asked. He looked momentarily confused, and then realization dawned on his face.

“You mean prostitution?” he asked, and Amanda nodded.

“I don’t mind it. I’ve worked it before, briefly. It wasn’t ideal at the time, and it was for room and board rather than scrip, but the working environment wasn't as good as the one you seem to have here.”

“Well then,” said Amanda “here’s the situation. I have recently lost two of my best employees, so I could use some more talent. I expect my employees to be courteous and polite to all patrons, to work on time, and to remember that we’re here for everyone to have a good time, including yourself. As a night porter, you can refuse a client if you feel unsafe with them, and you do not have to do anything with them you don’t wish to do, however, I will say that keeping an open mind will make you more money. Fifteen percent of every appointment earnings go to the establishment, the rest you keep. Does that sound like a job you could do?”

The man thought for a moment, and then smiled.

“Well, it certainly sounds better than working in the gulanite mines again,” he said.

“Good,” said Amanda “but two things first. One, before I take you on, I want to see how you do tonight. And second, I need to do a quick physical examination, to make sure you’re the right…material for this establishment. Please remove your clothes.”

“Of course,” he said, and then stood up, and quickly stripped down to nothing. Amanda took it in. His body had very little fat, it was almost entirely lean, hard muscle, cut through with a few scars but all the more attractive for them. His features were sculpted, and well defined, with minimal body hair. And then there was his face, perfectly symmetrical, with those eyes… Something about his face gave her pause. For a moment, she had the strangest sense of…recognition. He seemed almost… familiar to her. She looked at his face intently, but couldn't place it, and gave up.

“Ok, you’re perfect,” she said, and he smiled. Then she remembered.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to ask, what’s your name?” she asked. He pulled his pants up and belted them on, and then answered.

“Keith Sullivan,” he said, extending his hand out to her. She shook it firmly.

“I’m Amanda Rosewater, owner of the Need/Want. Now, we start getting busy in about an hour, so you have just enough time to go shower and shave. Am I right in thinking you’re exclusively male when it comes to partners?”

He pulled his shirt back on and nodded. “Yes I am, and I’m versatile when it comes to positions but bottoming is my preferred one,” he said.

“Alright, that’ll help me pick out your working outfit. Now, the shower is down the hall and to the left, and you can stow your pack in room 104, which is the room you’ll be using for your clients tonight.” Room 104 had belonged to Mahsuvus Gorath, so she reasoned its more masculine tastes in decor would suit Keith, at least for the evening. “Sounds good, thank you Ms. Rosewater,” he said, before grabbing his pack and turing to go.

“Oh, and Keith?” she said. He looked back. “I really do hope you become a worker here, so do your best tonight. I’ll give you some pointers when you come back here.” “Thank you, I’d be grateful for the help,” he said before heading towards the shower. After he closed the door behind him, Amanda set to work, opening one of the storage closets and looking for an outfit that would convey Keith’s masculinity while making it clear that he would be best suited for other men. She was very pleased with how promising he seemed. Since losing Mahsuvus, she’d needed new male night porters. Rydak was good, but not everyone went for Castithans; Jimmy was obviously a homosexual but erred toward the feminine side; Karl was big and strong and equal opportunity but his strength could be intimidating and he was an exclusive top; and Julho specialized in non-penetrative sex. Keith, from what she could tell, would fill the remaining niche, and give her patrons the full spectrum of male night porters. Still… She paused, holding a black mesh shirt in one hand and a pair of tight blue shorts.

Something about Keith bothered her, although it wasn't him, exactly. It was how he’d looked so familiar. And there was something about him, the way he spoke, the motions he made with his head and hands that just seemed maddeningly familiar, but she couldn't work out how. She tried to remember, looking back at her memories for when she might have seen him, but came up with nothing. Shrugging the doubt away, she discarded the mesh shirt into the crate and picked up the leather neck brace that Mahsuvus had worn from time to time.

Whatever it was, if it was important she was sure she’d remember it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know I said this chapter would be when Evers and Keith did stuff, but it'll be next chapter, which I'll post tomorrow. Comments are appreciated but not expected, and Keith's age is 19.


	3. Chapter 3

An hour later, and Amanda was pleased with the finished product.

After he’d shaved his beard, Keith looked even younger, no older than twenty at most, and dressed in a pair of short green shorts held up by leather suspenders crossed over his muscled chest, he looked perfect. As she led him back down the stairs she paused on the landing.

“Ok, so how do you get customers?” she asked.

“Make sure I’m visible in the room, and wait to see who takes notice. When someone does, then I go work on them,” he said, repeating what she’d told him earlier. “Right, and if no one seems to be paying attention?” she asked.

“Then find the person who seems to be obviously avoiding me,” he said.

“And if you cant find anyone like that?” she said. He frowned, as they hadn't covered that, but she wanted to hear what he thought.

“I guess…I go to someone who looks lonely and try to cheer them up?” he asked. Amanda smiled. He had it.

“You’ve got it. Now,” she turned and kept going downstairs into the busy main room of the Need/Want “everyone here charges forty scrip for an hour, and you don’t go past the hour. Are you ready?”

“I’m ready,” said Keith, a confident look on his face.

“Okay, good luck,” she said. Keith turned and strode into the room, and Amanda headed or the bar, ready to see how the night would turn out.

***

Evers was sitting alone at one of the tables in the Need/Want, midway into his second blue absinthe. He couldn't think of why he’d come out that night, after grabbing some dinner back at the mess. Sure, the music was good and the drinks were superb, but what he really needed was some sex, just to release the tension from the day. Part of him was bothered by the fact that most of the sex he’d had in life was paid for, but he’d never been good with communicating his desire to other guys in a way that made them want to sleep with him. That was what he liked about the night porters, they came to you. And even if it was just for the cash, it made him feel special. He drained his blue absinthe and motioned a server for a third one. Of course, with Mahsuvus gone, the kind of man he preferred was no longer available- strong, but not against getting screwed. The server set down his third glass and he picked it up, swirling the blue liquid a bit in the glass.

“Well that looks interesting,” said someone in front of him. He looked up. Smiling down at him was the man he’d let throughout he gate earlier, except now he was… Evers blinked. Keith wasn't wearing the dark clothes he’d come to town in, now he was dressed in a skimpy pair of green shorts with leather straps crossed over his chest, leaving his lean muscles open for anyone to look at. After a moment of trailing his eyes over the man’s abs and pectorals, Evers regained composure and looked back up at Keith’s still smiling face.

“What’s interesting,” he asked “the drink?”

“Actually,” said Keith, sitting down next to Evers “how such a handsome guy like yourself could be sitting here all alone. Should be illegal.”

“Oh well..” said Evers, chuckling uncomfortably. He tried to think of a smart answer, but the amount of naked skin next to him was short circuiting his brain. “So, what’s with the outfit, it looks…” Evers tried to think of a good word.

“Cold?” supplied Keith, his eyebrow quirked upward in amusement. Evers laughed. “Well, its for my new job here, as a night porter,” said Keith.

“You’re working here?” asked Evers, not sure why he was surprised. Seeing Keith’s look of puzzlement, Evers said “I mean, you just got into town a few hours ago.” “Lots of things can happen in a few hours,” said Keith. Keith leaned in slightly, and lowered his voice

“And a lot of things can happen in one hour too,” he said. Evers’ felt the warm flush of arousal creeping through his body. He looked at Keith again, and asked

“What’s your thing?”

“Riding dick,” said Keith without hesitation. Evers thought for another moment and said

“Okay, then lets do this.” Keith smiled, and reached down for Evers’ hand. He gently pulled him through the room, and up the stairs.

***

Amanda watched Keith take the E-Rep soldier upstairs, and then glanced at the clock she kept under the bar so patrons wouldn't see it and think about heading home. Eleven minutes. She nodded to herself, and then busied herself mixing cocktails for the group of women who’d just sat down. Not bad for his first client.

***

Evers fell back against the mattress, gasping for breath. He turned his head to look at Keith, who had his eyes closed and a self satisfied smile on his face.

“That was incredible,” Evers said. Keith opened his eyes and turned to look at him, prompting him with his eyes to continue.

“I mean,” continued Evers “you really weren't kidding when you said riding was your thing.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” said Keith, sliding a hand up Evers’ chest.

“Do we have time to go again?” asked Evers hopefully. Keith flicked his eyes to the clock on the wall, and frowned.

“Sorry, doesn’t look that way. You’ve got another three minutes.”

“Damn it,” said Evers, rolling out of bed and pulling on his clothes. Behind him, he heard Keith rising from the bed, and felt him softly wrap his arms around his chest, pulling him backwards so that Keith could press his lips against his neck. He sighed contentedly, feeling all the stress from the day gone for good, burned away by Keith’s aggressiveness. Behind him, Keith whispered

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Evers was puzzled for a moment, and then remembered. He reached into his pants, and pulled out his billfold. He opened it, and drew out a few notes, and handed them back to Keith. Keith thumbed through them, and then stuck them in the pocket of his shorts. He smiled winningly at Evers, and suddenly, Evers really didn't mind that he’d paid for it. It had been worth it.

“I never asked,” said Keith “what’s your name?”

“It’s…” began Evers, but Keith held up a hand.

“Actually, I have a busy night, and we should both get going. Why don’t you tell me next time? That is, if I can count you as one of my regulars,” he said, looking at Evers questioningly. Evers thought for a moment, and remembered exactly how good the sex had been.

“You bet, that was great!” “Excellent,” said Keith, taking Evers by the elbow and leading him out the door and back down the stairs to the main room. Letting go of his arm, Keith smiled, and said

“See you soon.”

Evers smiled back, and then turned and headed out the door, pleased that the day that had started so poorly had turned out so well.

***

When Amanda made last call at three in the morning, she looked around for Keith as she wiped down the tables, and eventually saw him guiding a severely intoxicated Liberata down the stairs. As they passed by, she heard the Liberata slur out

“And I always thought you humanssss didn't have enough haa-irrrr to beee……” the Liberata seemed lost for words.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, Mr. Kartur,” said Keith smiling.

“You better believe I enjoyed meee-self, you were worth every scrip!” the Liberata shouted out, before stumbling towards and out the door. Keith smiled after the Liberata, and then headed over to the bar. Amanda looked up at him and smiled.

“Six customers on your first night. I’m impressed,” she said.

“Seven, actually. Either I got drunk at some point and the Castithan with the blue eyes paid me double, or he really did have a twin,” Keith said, resting his elbows on the bar.

“The Zuharr twins? They’re usually more interested in ivali than night-porters, how’d you get them?” asked Amanda, curious.

“ _Nevitso hinje kastithanu_ ,”said Keith, and Amanda blinked.

“It means..” began Keith, but Amanda interrupted

“I also speak Castithan, but I’m impressed.”

“So were they, and after that we got along swimmingly,” said Keith.

“Oh, by the way,” said Keith, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a roll of bills “ here’s the amount I owe from my clients. If I calculated right, its forty-two scrip.” He laid the roll on the table and pushed it across to Amanda, who shook her head.

“Tonight was a test, so you can keep the money, tomorrow night is when we collect.”

“Well, thank you Ms. Rosewater,” said Keith, putting the money back in his pocket.

“Call me Amanda,” she said, and then raised her voice “ Everybody! Come on over!”

The Need/Wants employees, night-porters and servers alike, gathered around the bar. Amanda pulled up a bottle of old-earth style potato vodka and a tray of shot glasses, and poured out a glass for everyone while she talked

“Everybody, I’d like you to meet our newest employee, Keith Sullivan. He’s just managed to get seven customers on his first night, so I think thats a enough of a reason for a celebratory drink.” As she passed out shot glasses, Rydak said something in Castithan that she didn't catch but heard the words for seven and loose in. Keith said something back in Castithan that made Rydak laugh and clap Keith on the shoulder, so she decided there wasn't a need to worry. Raising her shot glass, she said

“We have what we need!”

“So lets give them what they want!” they all said back, and drained their shots. After that the servers grabbed their jackets and headed home and the night-porters headed upstairs. As she tidied up the bar Amanda watched Keith chatting with Rydak as they climbed the stairs, and for the briefest moment, she thought of Nolan. That stopped her short. Why would Keith make her think of Nolan, they weren’t alike at all. She decided it had to be the eyes. They had the same color eyes, and with the loss of Nolan still fresh, it wasn't surprising that something as trivial as that could trigger a reminder.

But Nolan was gone.

And just like everything else, Amanda had to accept that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the third chapter. The plot gets a little clearer in this.


	4. Chapter 4

_One week later._

Nya woke up earlier than usual. For a while she lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling, which was painted blue with stars in it. She’d stenciled them in about a week after she’d started working there, after Amanda reminded her to consider the room hers, and decorate it to suit her tastes. And she had.

She’d put up blue curtains and traded the last girl’s fuzzy pink bedspread for a blue one. She’d hung some blue scarfs she’d gotten at the market over the lamps, added some blue patterned throw pillows to the bed, and managed to score a can of blue paint and put a coat on the walls and ceiling. Blue was her favorite color. It was peaceful, relaxing. She’d read somewhere that when humans saw the color blue, their brain’s produced a chemical that worked to calm them down.

And it helped her forget.

She’d lived in the Bay Area. And on the day the raiders came, she’d stood there, helpless, as the raiders killed her parents, only running when the house and fields were turned into an inferno.

Blue was a cool color. It didn't remind her of fire at all.

After that, she’d wandered around, finding occasional work and stealing until she eventually became a prostitute in Angel Arc. That had lasted for two years, two years of being pimped out by a Castithan named Hirik who kept all the money while she and other girls did all the work. So she’d started stealing. Just a few coins at first, but it built up. And when she was caught, she’d run again. She’d offered herself to a land coach driver and headed for the furthest place she could get before he eventually kicked her off the bus.  She’d felt lost and alone, wandering around the confusing streets of Defiance. Eventually she found the Need/Want. She went in, expecting another dark, gloomy brothel, stinking of sweat and sex, but instead it was a warm , inviting place, full of happy clients and workers. And she’d met Amanda, who’d taught her that to be a night-porter (not a prostitute, a night porter) she had to be able to enjoy what she did.

So now, she gave hot oil massages that relaxed her clients, and then had sex with them, as much for her enjoyment as theirs. Her mother had been an acupuncturist, and had taught her what parts of people and even Votans would relax them…and which would arouse them.

She was good.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and onto the blue carpet (it had already been in the room, she hadn’t had to buy it). She decided she’d use her early rising to go to the bakery and buy some of those Castithan pastries she liked so much. She walked down the hall to the showers, and after a quick shower dressed in her street clothes- a short blue skirt with gold designs over black leggings and a white blouse with a jacket of indigo leather. She was pulling on her knit hat and about to go down the stairs when she heard something. She paused, turning. She heard it again- a slapping sound, coming from down the hall. She tiptoed across the carpeted floor, trying to pinpoint it. It was rhythmic almost, a slapping sound about every two seconds. Eventually she heard it at its loudest, and realized she was in front of Keith’s door. She pressed her ear against the door, and listened. The sound was definitely coming from in there, and now she could hear a dull thud as well. She knocked on the door.

“It’s open!” she heard Keith call out from inside. She opened the door, and was confronted with Keith, stripped down to the waist, doing pushups. Each time he pushed up he brought his hands together and clapped them, and then pushed them back out to catch himself before he hit the floor.

“What’s up?” asked Keith, continuing his pushups.

“Nothing, I just wondered what the noise I kept hearing was,” Nya replied, savoring Keith’s back muscles as they bulged with each pushup. She pitied the women who wouldn't succeed with him. She looked around the room. She’d only been in there once or twice, back when it had belonged to Mahsuvus, and it didn't look like much had changed. The tasseled toys were gone, as well as the handcuffs, but the rest of the room was bare save for the hammock that doubled as a sex swing and a plain mattress with mismatched bedding. It wasn't cheerful in any sense, but Mahsuvus hadn’t been a cheerful person. But the room didn't fit with Keith who had a quiet, yet joking demeanor.

“Have you thought about redecorating?” asked Nya. Keith paused his pushups, and then flipped his body up into a handstand. He used his hands to turn around, so he was facing Nya upside down.

“What?” he asked.

“Redecorating. Mahsuvus’ deal was masochism and some other kinks, but somehow I don't think thats your deal.”

“Wait, this stuff isn’t standard?” said Keith, sounding confused.

“No, everyone makes the room to their tastes. Amanda says it helps them create the right atmosphere for their particular field of pleasure,” said Nya.

“She’s a smart woman,” Keith noted.

“She is. So what is your deal?” she asked. Keith angled his head to look up at her.

“Sure you want to know? It might shock you.”

“I doubt it,” she said. Keith grinned.

“You’re looking at it.” When Nya looked at him questioningly, he continued.

“I’m a strong guy, so it doesn’t fool anyone when I just lie back and take it. So what I do is I get…aggressive. Hanging off of someones shoulders while blowing them is a turn on most people don’t even know they have, and when it’s happening it requires their effort and mine. And once they’re inside me, it’s still an equal balance, because I’m pushing back as hard as they’re pushing in. You get what I mean?”

“I think so,” said Nya “so while Karl is fucking everyone senseless and Jimmy is on his back moaning, you’re in between the two.”

“You got it, although as much as I’d love to be between Karl and Jimmy, I found out a while back that screwing coworkers never ends well,” said Keith. Nya laughed.

“You should talk more, you’re actually pretty funny,” she said.

“Really? Maybe if I quit my day job I’ll go into standup comedy, you think I should do that?” asked Keith.

“I think you should get out of that handstand and talk to me standing up like a normal person. Seriously, you’re going to pass out if you do that much longer.”

“What, this?” asked Keith, sounding surprised. He lifted one of his arms from the ground, until he was balanced on just his right arm.

“I’ve done this for hours at a time,” he said.

“I’m sure you have, but it’s kinda weird talking to someone when they’re like this,” said Nya.

“You want to see weird? Push me over,” said Keith. Nya hesitated for a moment, and then reached out and pushed Keith in the midsection. He didn’t budge. She tried again, but still he stayed upside down and upright. Finally she grabbed his legs and tried to throw him back, but he still didn't move. Frustrated, she pulled back, and saw him grinning.

“How?” she asked.

“Balance. As you push, I put more weight on my fingers, so that I’m too balanced to fall over,” said Keith, bringing his second arm down. He dropped his legs and stood up facing her, his grey eyes still having a slightly teasing look.

“So what are you doing up? Usually I’m the only one up now,” asked Keith.

“I got up early, thought I’d go to the bakery down the street and grab some pastries for breakfast,” she said.

“Ok, sorry if I kept you,” said Keith, turning to the curtained off area in the corner of the room. He pushed it aside to reveal his kitchenette- a feature in all the rooms- with his backpack pushed under the sink and sword leaning against the wall. He reached into his backpack, grabbing a rag from it and using it to wipe the sweat off his body. Nya turned to leave, then hesitated. She turned back. “Want to come?” she asked.

***

“Holy mother of God this is good!” said Keith. The Castithan girl behind the counter look at Nya questioningly.

“It’s his first time with one of these,” she said, and the girl nodded, smiling slightly. Nya watched in amazement as Keith devoured his pastry in about two seconds, before turning to the girl and saying

“What else have you got?”

They left the shop with a small bag of pastries each and walked down to Darby Square, taking a seat on the Defiance Statue plinth. For a while, they ate in silence. Then Nya asked

“So why haven't you done anything to redecorate your room yet?”

“Not sure,” said Keith. He frowned for a minute “I guess I’ve never really had my own room before.”

“Really? Never?” asked Nya, curious about his past.

“Really. When I lived in the Topeka mines everyone lived in bunkhouses, when I worked farming in Fort Bragg everyone slept ten to a room, when I was a call boy in New York I shared the room with everyone else, and everyone slept on the site for the wind farm maintenance,” he said, taking another bite of his sweet roll when he was done talking. Nya blinked.

“How old are you?”

“Nineteen,” he said “why?”

“Sounds like you’ve had a varied life,” she said.

“You could say that,” he said. He finished eating his sweet roll and crumpled up the bag, tossing it into a waste bin.

“Should I even really do anything? Wont it just be something the next guy will have to take care of?” he asked. Nya studied him for a moment.

“You’re not particularly sentimental, are you?” she asked.

“I’m not,” he answered.

“Neither was I. Everything I ever had was taken from me again and again, until eventually just stopped considering anything my own, my self included,” said Nya, thinking back to Angel Arc.

“What changed?” asked Keith.

“I found the Need/Want. And I met Amanda,” answered Nya “and she really went out of her way to make sure I felt like this was my home.”

“You must be good at what you do,” said Keith, but Nya shook her head.

“No, there’s more to it than that,” she said. They lapsed into silence. Finally, Keith sighed and said

“Alright. How would you suggest I decorate my room?”

“Well, what makes you happy?”

***

They got rid of the swing. They found a flat woven rug at the market and rolled it onto the floor after they’d disinfected it. They took an old bedstead out of a storage space and put the mattress on it, after they’d traded the mismatched sheets for a set of white ones from a Casti vendor, and found a black bedspread at a decent price. With the basics taken care of, Nya declared the room needed some knick-knacks, and then jabbed Keith in the LU-4 acupuncture point when he pointed out that he already had enough knick-knacking going on in his room. He didn't argue with her until they got to the market. And it was there that Nya realized exactly how un-sentimental Keith was.

“There’s no point to any of this stuff, it’s just meant to look good!” she said, frustrated, as they were walking out of Knowl’s Pawn Shop.

“Well forgive me for not getting why things need to look good! People don't seem to pay too much attention to my room when they’re inside of me.” He shot back. Next to them a Sensoth woman walking with a toddler picked her kid up and walked away quickly.

“Well, what about you? Do you like your room looking the way it is?” she said.

“A place having a bed is usually the only think I need to call it a bedroom.” Nya took a breath, reminded herself that he’d never had a place to call his own, and then tried again.

“Ok. Why do you carry a sword?” she asked.

“Its a good weapon,” he said, but he fidgeted slightly. She smiled inwardly. Acupuncture was all about hitting just the right spot, and she had it.

“No, a gun is a good weapon. You carry around a sword that was considered old fashioned before the Votans even showed up-why?” she asked. Keith bit his lip, shuffled his feet a bit, and then answered.

“It was my mother’s.”

“Your mom fought with a sword?” she asked, quietly impressed.

“Yeah, and she taught me and her father taught her how, it was a family tradition,” said Keith, keeping his eyes towards the ground.

“So when you see the sword, it remind you of something happy, right?” asked Nya. “I guess so,” said Keith. Nya stared him down.

“Alright, yes, it does,” Keith said back.

“See, that’s the point,” said Nya “you pick things that make you think of happy things.”

“So what did you do for your room?” asked Keith.

“I put in all blue things, because when I see blue, it reminds me of when I still had a family,” said Nya. Keith nodded.

“Ok, I think I understand now,” he said.

“Good,” said Nya, pleased with herself. They spent the next hour touring the market stalls, and Nya watched Keith try and pick things based solely on how they made him feel. It was slow going, until they found a bored looking Irathient with a stall piled with fabric products.

“ _Eseneziri,_ ” said Keith. The Irathient looked up.

“It’s been a while since someone said that to me. How can I help you?” she asked.

“I like the designs on these blankets,” Keith said, gesturing to a rack with large squares of cloth hanging off of them, covered in geometric patterns.

“Thank you. They’re all handmade, and faithful recreations of the tribal artwork of my clan,” she said.

“How much for this one?” asked Keith, taking hold of a blue blanket with white and red squares spiraling outwards, intermixed with alien symbols.

“Fifteen scrip,” she answered, and Keith handed over the money without any further exchange. Draping it over his shoulders, he and Nya set off.

“What’re you going to do with the blanket?” asked Nya.

“Use it as a wall hanging,” answered Keith.

They stopped at another stall where Keith got a small statue of an old world deity, “Kwanyin” the vendor had said, and another where he and Nya discussed whether a picture of old New York City or a strand of multi-colored flags would be better for his room. As they were doing this, someone called out “Nya!”

They both stopped talking and looked around. Nya spotted the caller first.

“Lawkeeper Rainer! How are you?” she asked. Berlin walked up to the two, the law keepers badge hanging of the front of her coat.

“I’m fine, the new jobs been a bit stressful though,” she said.

“Well, I’m sure I can help you with that on Wednesday,” said Nya, smiling.

“Actually, I was wondering if maybe I could schedule for sooner?” asked Berlin. Nya looked again, and saw that the shadows under Berlin’s eyes were darker then they had been last week, and her shoulders were hunched slightly. Losing Tommy Lasalle and the Earth Republic, along with starting a new job was clearly taking its toll, even on a strong woman like Berlin.

“When would you like?” asked Nya sympathetically.

“Could you do it today?” she asked, and Nya could practically hear her trying not to sound too hopeful.

“I’m booked solid this evening,” said Nya, but seeing the brief look of disappointment in Berlin’s eyes she continued

“but come by at four and I’ll take care of you then.”

“Great, thank you so much Nya,” Berlin said before turning and walking away.

“She’s one of your clients?” asked Keith, and Nya turned to see him holding the picture of New York.

“She is, but she only comes for the massages, not the sex,” said Nya, turning and heading back towards the Need/Want. Keith jogged and caught up with her, and fell into step alongside.

“Too bad, she’s one hot law keeper. I’d almost be jealous,” said Keith, and Nya turned in time to see his smirk.

"If you think she's hot you should have seen the last law keeper. He was one hot piece of man,” said Nya.

“What happened to the last law keeper?” asked Keith.

“Lawkeeper Nolan? He went missing about two weeks ago when part of the mines collapsed, along with his daughter Irisa,” Nya said, before stopping.

Keith’s face had a surprised…no, shocked look on it.

“What was the Law Keepers name?” he asked. “Nolan, why?” she asked, concerned. For a moment Keith’s face retained the shocked look. Then it resumed its normal easy- going demeanor.

“Nothing, sorry I thought you said someone else's name,” said Keith, before turning and walking away briskly. Nya followed after him, deciding to let the matter drop.

***

Back at the Need/Want, Nya helped Keith hang the picture and the wall hanging, and set the statue in a little alcove by the door. Lying back on his new bedspread, Keith folded his arms behind his head and smiled.

“How’s it look?” he asked.

“Comfortable,” said Nya.

“It sure feels that way. Thank you,” he said.

“No problem,” she said. She adjusted the wall hanging slightly, and then said

“You should rest, Sunday nights are pretty busy, and we had a long day.”

“Sure thing,” said Keith, closing his eyes. Nya left, and went back to her room to get ready for her four o clock with Berlin. She was glad she’d spent the day with Keith. He was a good man, and it made her happy that she’d gotten to know him a little better…even if she didn't understand why mentioning the former law keeper would elicit such a response from Keith. As she pulled her massage table out from under the bed and started assembling it, she decided it didn't matter.

Everyone has secrets to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, my computer got screwed up. Berlin seemed like a good fit to take over as law keeper, and we'll probably be seeing more of her. Next chapter is when we get news about Rafe McCawley


	5. Chapter 5

_Nine days later_

“So it was an EGO device?” asked Amanda, pouring another bourbon shot into the glass.

“Yeah,” said Rafe, picking up the glass and downing it.

“Pilar got tangled up with some Indogenes up north, they implanted her and then Quentin when he went looking for her. They wanted Christie’s baby, for research or something,” he said, tapping the rim of the glass absentmindedly.

“Well, I’m just glad everyone’s ok,” said Amanda, pouring herself a shot from the bottle.

“The Indogene’s aren’t, not after what my in-laws did to 'em,” said Rafe, barking out a short, humorless laugh. Amanda pressed her lips together, and forced herself not to tell Rafe about what Stahma had done to Kenya.

“But Christie and the baby, they’re both ok?” she asked.

“Doc checked ‘em out, couldn't find anything wrong. You should have seen Christie Amanda, she fought like a saber wolf when she found out what they wanted to do. She and Alak had already taken down three of them but he time we got there,” answered Rafe.

“She’s strong,” said Amanda.

“Yeah. Well, I better get on home, with Quentin and Pilar staying there while they recover from the EGOs,” said Rafe, pulling on his coat and turning to go.

“Night Rafe,” said Amanda.

“Night,” he said before leaving. Amanda smiled, pleased that one bad thing had been resolved without anyone she cared about getting hurt. She turned to put the bourbon away when a voice said

“Ms. Rosewater?”

She turned, to see a Liberata in a brown suit standing at the bar, looking frazzled.

“What can I do for you?” she asked.

“Where’s Keith, I have an appointment with him now,” he said. Amanda glanced at the clock, and saw that it was still a tad early, with the hour not ending for another five minutes.

“You’re still a little early, and Keith is very popular, Mr….Kartur, right?” asked Amanda.

“Thats right, and I know he’s popular, that why I booked the appointment,’ he said.

“Well, why don't you have a drink while you wait?” she asked.

“Fine,” grumbled Kartur.

***

In the four minutes before Keith came down the stairs with a miner, Kartur had drained two tumblers of blue absinthe and a mojito. Keith came up behind the Liberata and curled his arms around him, pressing his lips against his neck.

“There you are Mr. Kartur, I hope you weren't waiting long,” he said.

“Too long Keith, too long,” grumbled Kartur, pulling out a wad of bills and pushing them into Keith’s hand as he hopped off the barstool “lets do this.”

Amanda watched as the tiny Liberata pulled Keith across the floor and up the stairs, shaking her head at how strange it looked.

“What’s the matter?” asked a familiar voice. Amanda looked over her shoulder and saw Niles leaning against the bar. She smiled as he walked over.

“Nothing’s the matter, I just thought it was funny to watch a Liberata drag one of my night porters upstairs,” she said.

“Why is that so funny?” he asked, walking over and sitting down in front of her.

“Because that particular night porter is six foot two inches and his client is short even by Liberata standards,” said Amanda, and watched as the mental image finished painting itself in Nile’s mind.

“Goodness…would this happen to be the new night-porter I’ve been hearing so much about?” he asked.

“I’ve hired three new people in the last month you’ll have to be a little more specific,” said Amanda.

“The one who walked across the badlands to get here carrying a samurai sword,” said Niles.

“Yeah that’s Keith, why?” asked Amanda.

“Ah no reason, it is a bit odd though, isn't it? A young man without a firearm surviving the badlands and coming to Defiance, right before a genocidal ark brain destroys the whole city he was living in,” said Niles.

“Well, it could be a coincidence,” said Amanda.

“How often does that happen?” asked Niles, letting the question hang in the air. After a bit, Amanda asked

“Did you want something, or did you just come here to conjecture about my new talent?”

“I didn’t, you were just talking to McCawley, right?” asked Niles.

“I was,” she answered.

“I’m hoping he can help me with a slight issue,” began Niles, and Amanda laughed, unable to stop herself.

“What?” asked Niles.

“Rafe McCawley, the man you took his mines, home, and freedom from? He wouldn't help you anywhere, except maybe off of the arch,” she said.

“I think he might, if as a reward all his crimes are cleared and he’s given back his mines,” said Niles, rubbing a hand over his face in annoyance. That made Amanda pause.

“You’d give Rafe back his mines?” she asked.

“Me and the viceroy agree that that could be the best course of action,” answered Niles, sounding tired and for the first time Amanda noticed that his normally well kept appearance was absent- his face was unshaven, his buttons undone, his hair uncombed.

“Won't that decrease Earth Republic output?” asked Amanda.

“The Earth Republic is gone,” said Niles bluntly, and it took Amanda a moment to realize what he meant.

“You mean…?” she asked.

“We’ve finally received confirmation. In addition to New York Toronto, Boston, and Fredricton were all destroyed. We thought maybe some of the smaller settlements were still there but all the ones we tried to contact brought up dead air. We also have unconfirmed reports that Fort Grion and Jackson are gone as well,” said Niles, and Amanda felt her stomach twist.

“What about The Votanis Collective? I know Belize was destroyed but..” Amanda started, but Niles cut her off.

“It wasn't the only place. We can’t be sure, but we think Sulos was destroyed.”

Amanda took a moment to compose herself.

“Well, what’s left, and what does this have to do with giving Rafe his mines back?” she asked. “Well, we have confirmed that Angel Arc and the Bay Area are still there; as well as Oaxaca, New Chicago, Cedars and Alabama. Winnipeg might be but we aren’t sure yet. As to McCawley, he knows those mines better than we do. Destroying Kaziri has made the mines…unstable. We want him to help us get them back up and running again as soon as possible.”

“I see,” said Amanda, understanding the subtext. With it’s mines putting out gulanite, Defiance would have the money to be able to handle the sudden changes that would come from the destroyed countries.

“Well, I think if you tell Rafe what you just told me he might help you,” she answered.

“God I hope so, this has been an absolute nightmare,” said Niles “Irisa really did a number on everything the Earth Republic ever built.”

“You and I both know it was the “Well, I think if you tell Rafe what you just told me he might help you,” she answered.

“God I hope so, this has been an absolute nightmare,” said Niles “Irisa really did a number on everything the Earth Republic ever built.”

“You and I both know it was an ark brain  working through Irisa, Niles,” Amanda said. 

“Yes, well…” Niles leaned back. He seemed uncomfortable. 

“I should go,” he said, turning.

“Wait,” said Amanda. He turned back, expression curious.

“Bailey, hold down the bar,” Amanda called out before turning back to Niles with a smile.

“Let’s take a break,” she said, walking out from behind the bar. 

*** 

Amanda woke up to sunlight peeking through the windows of her room. She disentangled herself from Niles and made her way to the bathroom to wash up from the previous night. She smiled, remembering what she’d done with Niles the night before. But her smile faded, because it led her mind to thoughts of Nolan, and what she’d done with him. Shaking her head to dispel the memories, she dressed and went downstairs. Compulsively checking behind the bar, she found a note 

_ Amanda- _

_ I collected the money from the night porters and put it under the crates of slam in the storage closet. I’ll see you at work tonight. _

_                                                                                                                                                                                             -Bailey  _

She smiled, pleased that her most trusted employee had taken care of things without her. After the revelation that so much had been destroyed…she’d needed a break. And Niles was a good distraction. 

She tossed the note in the trash bin and went to the storage closet to retrieve the scrip. She lifted the crate, and pulled out a large wad of cash, flipping through it to count. It had been an average night, but average wasn't the worst thing. As she was coming out of the storage room, she saw Keith coming down the stairs looking surprisingly more awake and alert than most other people would have been for such an early hour, particularly considering his job had ended just a few hours previously. Amanda recalled what Niles had said about him the night before. 

“Keith!” she called out and he paused on the bottom step and looked at her. 

“Good morning Ms. Rosewater,” he said.

“You’ve been working here for two weeks, you can call me Amanda, Keith,” she said “Why are you up so early?” 

“I’m always up this early,” he answered. “I was just heading out for breakfast,” he said, gesturing towards the door. 

“Before you do that, do you mind if we have a chat first?” she asked. Keith looked unsure, but he nodded his head. Amanda gestured towards one of the tables and took a seat, motioning for him to sit down across from her. He did so, looking mildly apprehensive. 

“Keith, why did you come to Defiance?” asked Amanda, choosing not to beat around the bush with him.

“I was looking for work,” he answered without hesitation. 

“You lived in New York, if you’d wanted another job you could have found one there. Why did you come halfway across the continent to find a new job?” Amanda asked. 

“Why is this a problem?” asked Keith “I’m doing a good job here, right?” 

“You are, but I’m a little concerned when someone with a story that doesn't quite add up wanders into my business looking for work after having avoided a major catastrophe by a matter of days,” answered Amanda, folding her arms. Keith looked down at his hands, and Amanda waited. Eventually, he spoke.

“The pay for working on the wind farms wasn't even enough if we lived on the site, and that was if you had worked there long enough. A nineteen year old kid who’s last job was as a hooker? I was lucky they let me lay out my sleeping bag.” Keith took a breath before continuing.

“So I found another job, one that I could work at night, hauling blue devil into places Castithans would have stuck out in. And I saved up money, and when I had enough I got onto a land coach and headed west, looking for…someone I hadn't seen in a very long time, who I’d be able to make a bette life with.”

“Who?” asked Amanda. Keith didn't answer for a moment, and then took a deep breath and answered.

“It didn't matter, I was in New Chicago when I found out they’d died. So I headed for Defiance, figuring I’d be able to find a good job there. And that’s it,” Keith finished, looking up.

“I see,” said Amanda. She considered everything he’d told her, and then said

“Well, thank you for being honest with me. Please, enjoy you’re breakfast.”

Keith nodded and got up, and quickly walked out of the building. Amanda leaned back and sighed. A few minutes later she heard footsteps on the stairs and Niles came down and headed over to her.

“Hello there,” he said leaning in for a kiss. Amanda kissed him back, but she was distracted. Niles realized this, and pulled back.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Keith,” she said, and Niles looked confused.

“Keith the…oh, the night porter we were discussing. Right, what about him?”

“I just talked to him,” she said.

“And? Did he have a good reason?” said Niles.

“He worked hauling adreno to make enough money to meet someone he cared about, but when he got out here he found out they’d died,” she said.

“He was looking for someone in Defiance?” Niles asked, frowning.

“No, New Chicago. He came here after he found out they’d died,” she said. Niles nodded.

“I see. Well,” said Niles, leaning back “that is quite a story.”

“You think he was lying?” asked Amanda.

“Well you have to admit, that story does seem a little too convenient, no?” said Niles.

“Not to me, and besides, what difference does it make?” asked Amanda, getting up.

“The Earth Republic and the Votanis Collective are gone. Millions of people are dead. All of the problems they..no, you were fighting about are done, and no one’s the winner. It’s the ark falls all over again. So work out a way to keep Defiance from begin lost too, and stop worrying about one kid who put everything on the line to try and make a better life for himself, alright?” she said, before turning and stalking back upstairs. She heard Niles call out behind her, but she ignored him, and locked the door to her room behind her. She sat down against it and put her face in her hands. A single tear leaked out. Keith had tried make a better life for himself based on a happy dream he’d had, and when the reality came to be he’d turned around and tried again. She’d tried to make life work by finding another strong man who cared about her so that she could bring her life back to something like the way it was, but it didn't matter.

Niles wasn't Nolan.

Niles had helped he get on drugs, Nolan had helped her get her life back. Niles had tried to end problems, Nolan tried to fix them. And Niles had brought her her sisters murderer, and left her there to shoot her like it was a game, like that would make everything better for her. But Nolan had been there for her when she found out Kenya was dead in the first place.

Niles wasn’t Nolan. He never would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so about Pilar and the EGO device: I tried to come up with a plausible solution that would explain her behavior aside from bi-polar disorder AND that would mean she and Quentin get to live, because I may want to use them later in the story.  
> Keith's story will be explained more as this goes on.  
> As always, comments, questions and critiques are appreciated but not expected.  
> Thanks for reading


	6. Chapter 6

“Irisa!” Nolan called out, frowning.

He was standing on the back steps of his house, hands on his hips. It was a beautiful summer day, warm and sunny. A light breeze rustled the trees and flowers in his backyard. The only problem was he couldn't find Irisa. He walked down the steps and into the yard, determined to find her. He checked behind the toolshed, in the playhouse, and even got down on his knees and peered behind the bushes growing next to the steps.

She wasn't in any of her usual hiding places. He got up, beginning to get worried. Where was his little girl?

Then he heard it. A tiny scuffling, but it was enough. He walked over to one of the trees and looked up, smiling.

“Found you,” he said. High above him, Irisa was perched in the branches, smiling down at him.

“Come on down kid, dinner’s ready,” he said.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Hamburgers and tater tots,” he said. Irisa considered it for a minute, and then climbed down the tree, jumping the last few feet. She walked over to Nolan and took his hand, smiling up at him with her big green eyes. He smiled back.

“What were you doing up there, sweetie?” he asked, pointing to the tree.

“I was looking at the arch daddy!” she said.

“It’s really big it’s..it’s…Irisa gave up trying to explain and stretched her arms over her head and jumping to convey the size of the arch. Nolan laughed.

“How about we go there tomorrow hon?” he asked.

“Really, could we?!” she asked, excited. Nolan ran his hand through her red hair, smiling.

“Sure, why not? I’m not working tomorrow, and it’ll be fun, I haven't been there in forever,” he said.

“Can uncle Rafe come too?” she asked.

“Hmm, well uncle Rafe might have to work sweetie,” he said, taking her hand and leading her up to the house. “He’s a busy man, running his mines.” Irisa laughed.

“What’s so funny kid?” he asked.

“Daddy you’re silly, Uncle Rafe doesn’t work in a mine,” she said. Nolan frowned.

“Sure he does, he…” and then Nolan remembered.

“No you’re right, he works making dog food,” he said, shaking his head.

“You’re silly daddy, but I love you,” Irisa said, giving him a hug, putting her little arms around his neck. He smiled and embraced her back. His little girl.

Everything was ok, as long as his little girl was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Secretly? Nolan wishes he and Irisa could have had a normal life together as father and daughter.


	7. Chapter 7

_Three days later_

“Oh oh don’t stop,” said Levon, fisting his hands into the sheets. Above him, Keith grinned and kept slamming back down onto his dick, riding him like a cowboy.

“You like this?” asked Keith.

“Fucking love it don’t stop!” grunted out Levon.

“Then show me,” said Keith. Even in the depth of his pleasure, Levon was confused. Show him? How was he…

“Come on, big guy, show me how strong you are,” said Keith, grinding his ass into Levon’s crotch. Levon frowned, then grinned.

“I’ll show you alright,” he said. He reached up and grabbed Keith behind his neck, and rolled over. With Keith under him he thrusted in until he was balls deep.

“Oh yeah! Now you’re doing it. Come on!” Keith said, grabbing onto Levon’s back and pulling him deeper. Levon kept thrusting, harder an harder and then…

“God yes!” Levon yelled, his orgasm tearing through his body. He thrust in a few more times, and then pulled out and rolled back, breathing hard. Keith pulled himself up on one elbow and looked at him, grinning.

“Now wasn't that more fun than just lying there?” he asked.

“If you can still move after that I clearly didn't chup you hard enough,” said Levon.

“Hey, there’s always next time,” said Keith. Levon rolled is eyes, but inside, he knew he’d be back. He’d never made use of the Need/Want’s night porters before a friend of his had convinced him to try out the latest talent, extolling the virtues of their new guy, Keith. So Levon had paid the scrip and decided maybe it could be fun. Two weeks later and he’d been back three times. Keith was a fantastic lay, and worth the scrip.

“Hour’s almost up,” said Keith, rising from the bed and disappearing behind a curtained off area. Levon rolled out of bed and started pulling on his clothes. By the time he’d dressed Keith had reappeared, cleaned up and dressed again in skintight black shorts. Levon went over to him for a post coital kiss, grabbing Keith pushing his lips to his. Keith kissed him back, deep and hard. Pulling back, Levon grinned.

“I’m definitely coming back tomorrow,” he said.

“Hope I’m available big spender,” Keith said teasingly.

“I’ll have more free scrip after they collapse the L-7 shaft tomorrow,” said Levon.

“How will collapsing a mine shaft give you more work?” asked Keith, his tone shifting to curious rather than teasing.

“Once the shaft is collapsed McCawley says it'll relieve the risk of collapse in the rest of the mine, so we can go back to mining in it,” explained Levon.

“Makes sense,” said Keith, heading for the door and opening it.

“Now go home and get some rest, and tomorrow night I’ll show you how to do a bully,” Keith said.

“What the hell is that?” asked Levon, walking up to Keith.

“Something that your dick is gonna love but your quads are gonna hate,” Keith said, grinning. Levon thought that through, and when he realized what Keith had in mind his brain ground to a halt.

“See you tomorrow,” said Keith.

***

“Alright, listen up,” said Rafe “we’re gonna be sending in five people to lay the charges, and once they’re cleared out we’ll blow the shaft. Now, where in the shaft the charges are placed is absolutely essential. This needs to blow exactly right if we’re going to be able to work the rest of the mine, and we only have one shot at this. Everyone clear on that?”

“Yes,” said Levon, along with the rest of the miners. They were all gathered outside of the mine entrance while Rafe pointed to a diagram of the mines and explained how the charges would be placed. Levon scrunched his neck down into the collar of his jacket, trying to keep warm. The sky above was overcast, and threatened snow.

“So the miners who will be laying the charges will be myself, Gail, Dax, Levon and Mai. Let’s get going,” said Rafe. Levon’s ears perked up. He was one of the miners getting to lay the charges? As he headed inside the mine he reasoned that it wasn't to big of a jump. He was after all the one responsible for scaling the vertical drops in the mine and searching for new gulanite deposits. In the event of a cave in he would be the most likely to survive. Pulling on his helmet, he stepped into the mine, and went with the other four people to the L-7 shaft. Before entering, they clipped themselves to a metal bar outside the shaft, and went out attached to the cables. After walking a good ways down the tunnel, Rafe stopped them right in front of a wall covered with graffiti.

“This is it everyone. Put the explosives on the walls and lets get out,” said Rafe, taking his to the graffiti wall and sticking it on it. With that done he began unspooling the fuse, and backing out of the tunnel. The other miners did the same, having been informed as they walked of where to put the charges. As Levon stuck his to the wall he noticed the graffiti was…odd. It showed golden symbols and a skeletal red-haired figure and people, and none of the usual tags or images from other graffiti. Actually, he thought, it looked more like….

“Levon! You’re not getting paid to stand there, get moving!” Yelled Rafe, and Levon quickly began to back out of the cave, inwardly berating himself for standing around in a structurally unsafe tunnel. The fuses were long, and reached all the way outside the mine. Rafe took all the fuses and wired them into the ignitor, which he set back a good distance from the mine. Calling everyone back behind the ignitor, Rafe called out

“3…2…1!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, sorry for the delay, I'm trying for a chapter a day but this one is proving difficult to write.


	8. Chapter 8

The doorbell rang and Nolan looked up from his seat at the kitchen table.

“Dad, can you get that? I’ll be down in a minute!” Irisa called down from upstairs.

“Got it!” he called back, and then answered the door. On the front porch was a very anxious looking young man in a tuxedo. Nolan gave him a once over before deciding the threat level from him was minimal.

“You must be Tommy,” he said.

“Yes sir,” the young man said, straightening up. Nolan let him stand there for another minute before letting him into the house, closing the door behind him. Tommy stood awkwardly in their small kitchen, his eyes darting back and forth, as if trying to find something to talk about.

“Is Irisa..?”

“She’ll be down in a moment. So tell me Tommy, how it is you’re taking my daughter to prom?” said Nolan, taking a seat at the table and fixing the kid with his best interrogation stare.

“Um, well sir we sit next to each other in Government and English Lit, and Irisa’s a really nice person so I…”

“She is a nice person, that’s how I raised her,” interrupted Nolan

“my question is out of all the girls in that high school, why did you ask Irisa? And answer carefully, because if I don't like what I hear Irisa is going ahead to the prom with Rynn while you and I stay here and chat.” He waited while Tommy squirmed trying to think of an answer. Eventually Tommy said

“Because she’s a friend and I think we’ll both have a good time at prom.”

“I see. Well, if that’s your final answer then…”

“Dad, stop interrogating him he’s nervous enough,” said Irisa. Tommy and Nolan both turned to look, and Nolan stopped, stunned. At the top of the stairs stood Irisa, her red hair hanging loose at her shoulders, wearing a turquoise dress with maroon elbow gloves. Looking at her, Nolan couldn't believe it had been seventeen years, she couldn't be the young woman in front of him, she was his little girl…

“You look beautiful,” said Tommy, equally stunned.

“Thanks,” she said, smiling. She walked down the stairs and smiled at Tommy. For a moment, it seemed he couldn't speak. Then a look of confusion passed across his face.

“Where’s the…oh! Your corsage, I left it in the car. Sorry, I’ll…” he stammered out.

“It’s fine, Tommy I’ll wait,” she said. Tommy turned and went out the door.

“Did you have to give him the third degree dad? He’s a really nice guy,” she said.

“Yeah, you're right, but it was a little fun to watch him squirm,” Nolan said. He wasn't quite sure what to say.

“Look, just..be careful tonight, ok? I know you’re pretty much all grown up but still its prom and guys are…” he started, but Irisa cut him off.

“Dad, I’ll be fine. Tommy and I are skipping the after party and heading straight home because he has to work tomorrow, and we’ll be taking the limo both ways so its fine. No teenage drinking and driving, no parties,” she said.

“Ok, well then…” Nolan sighed

“Have fun kid,” he said.

“I will, don’t worry,” she said. She leaned in and gave him a hug, and he hugged her back. His little girl was all grown up. He felt scared and happy at the same time. Behind them the door opened and Tommy came back in.

"Got it!” he said, triumphantly holding up the corsage box. Irisa pulled out of the hug and smiled at him.

 “It looks good Tommy,” she said, and Tommy smiled. He quickly took the corsage out of the box and put it on Irisa’s wrist.

“Dad, can you take a picture?” Irisa asked, handing him her phone. “Sure thing kiddo,” he said, holding up the phone. He waited while it focused on the two of them, and was about to press the button when he heard a rumbling sound. It started low but got louder and louder until it seemed to be right in the room with them. Nolan looked around, trying to pinpoint the source, but he was unsuccessful. Then the sound faded out and was gone.

“Dad?” asked Irisa “What’s wrong?”

“What was that sound?” Nolan asked.

“I didn't hear anything,” said Tommy.

“Dad? Are you sure you’re ok?” asked Irisa, her green eyes full of concern. Nolan took a breath, then smiled.

“I’m fine. Guess I’m just a little tired. Alright you two, smile!” he said, snapping the picture. The camera lens on the screen contracted, and when the resulting picture popped up Nolan considered it. Irisa and Tommy couldn't have looked more different- him with his dark skin and fuzzy hair and her with her red hair and Irathient markings. But a small, rebellious part of his brain thought they made a good pair.

***

Levon was dumbstruck. They’d blown the charges, and felt the earth tremble under their feet.

And then the humming.

It had resonated from under the earth, and from inside the tunnel had come a green light. And then it had stopped. For a moment, their was silence. Then, every miner had started shouting, confused. Some ran away, other ducked and covered their heads. Levon had just stood there, not sure what to do. He dimly remembered Rafe grabbing him and them both running into the mine and to the entrance of the L-7 shaft.

The shaft was gone. The vaulted ceilings of the tunnel had dropped into a cavernous hole in the floor of the mines. The bottom of the hole was hidden in darkness. But what was unbelievable was that the rocks were floating. Giant sections of the tunnel walls were slowly revolving and drifting around each other like leaves in a creek. Levon and Rafe stood there, completely at a loss for words.

Rafe recovered first.

“One of us needs to go down there and see whats at the bottom of the hole,” he said.

“I’ll go,” said Levon, still staring at the rocks.

“It’s better if I do it. I have more experience,” said Rafe.

“It’s better if I do it. You have a mine to run,” countered Levon.

“It’s better for you if you listen to me,” growled Rafe. He walked back towards the entrance to the mine and cam back with a rappelling harness. As he was fixing the carabiners to the bar at the tunnel entrance, he said

“Keep an eye on those rocks, and let me know if they come at me, alright?”

“You got it boss,” said Levon. Without any further talk Rafe pushed off the side of the pit and started down. He was good for the first thirty feet, but then one of the rocks drifted toward him.

“On your left!” Levon called out. Rafe hauled himself upwards just as the rock hit the spot where he’d been, and then bounced off the awl and went in the opposite direction. Rafe continued down, and soon was lost in the dark. For awhile the cable kept jerking, showing Rafe’s gradual process down the hole. Then, abruptly, the cable stopped moving. It was till for almost two minutes, before it began to move again, and not long after Levon saw Rafe climbing up towards him. Faster than Levon would have believed Rafe hauled himself over the edge of the hole and started removing his harness.

“What is it?” asked Levon “what’s down there?” Rafe said nothing.

Then, he looked straight at Levon, and said

“We need to get Dr. Yewll. Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, next chapter comes soon, I promise. Again, any comments are much appreciated but not expected


	9. Chapter 9

“Shirt off,” said Meh Yewll. The young woman in front of her took off her shirt while Meh pressed a stethoscope against her back and listened to her breathing.

“Alright, anything out of the ordinary with you?” she asked.

“Not really, I got a nosebleed two day ago but it was probably just the dry air,” she said.

“Probably,” said Meh. She took he stethoscope off and checked her lymph glands, and then turned back to the counter.

“You can put your shirt back on, I just need to take a blood sample and we’re done,” said Meh.

“Sounds good,” said the woman, pulling her purple blouse back over her head Meh took out a syringe and took hold of the woman's arm, quickly prepping it with alcohol before sticking the needle into her vein. She withdrew a small portion, before pulling the needle out and quickly covering the spot with an adhesive bandage. Walking over to a machine in the corner of the room, she injected the blood into a small vial at the top and switched it on. It hummed, and then printed a small piece of paper covered in Indogene glyphs. Meh scanned it quickly, and turned back to her patient.

“Nothing out of the ordinary Ceci, you’re a perfectly healthy young woman,” she said.

“Thanks Dr. Yewll,” she said, smiling “How much is it?”

“Fifty scrip,” she answered. The woman counted out the money and handed it to her.

“See you next month,” said Meh as the woman left. Meh barely and time to turn around before the next patient walked in, this time a human male, well built with dark hair and grey eyes.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“I’m here for my checkup,” he said.

“Right, Keith Sullivan. Have a seat on the cot,” she said. He complied without further discourse. Meh took her eye scanner and held it in front of his face, waiting as it scanned.

“Any particular reason you came here today?” she asked.

“I’m a night porter, so we’re recommended to get checkups once a month,” he answered.

“Mmm, I see,” she said, pulling the scanner off-his eyes were fine. She pulled on her stethoscope and said

“Shirt off.”

He did so, exposing his well muscled body. Meh paused. Something about him…

“You’ve never been here before?” she asked.

“No, this is my first time with the famous Dr. Yewll,” he said, and Meh flinched inside.

“Fame is overrated,” she said.

“I heard you saved this town from an ark fragment?” he said, and she relaxed. He wasn't talking about her work in the Pale Wars.

“Wasn’t all me, the law keeper and a flimsy window did most of that,” she said, placing the stethoscope bell on his back.

“Where are you from, originally?” she asked.

“Topeka, but I haven’t lived there since I was thirteen,” he said.

“Where did you live most recently?”

“New York,” he answered.

“Lucky you,” she replied, removing the stethoscope and feeling his lymph glands.

“Any family disease history?”

“None in my mother’s side that I know of, and I have no clue about my father’s. I never met him,” he replied.

“Hmmph. Doesn’t matter anyways, the blood test and imaging will tell me anything important,” she said “Lie back.”

Keith reclined on the cot while Meh pulled the imaging rig over the bed.

“Keep your eyes closed,” she said, and switched it on. It descended, and rotated around Keith’s body in half-curves. When it was done, it retracted, and Meh removed the negative from the machine.

“Wait here, I’ll be back in a moment,” she said, turning and heading out the door “don’t touch anything.”

She climbed the stairs up to her laboratory and put he negative in the processor, and when the sheet was printed added the developer and moved it around in the canister. She brought it down with her to sit while she took Keith’s blood test.

“I’ll just need to draw some blood,” she said, reaching for his arm and prepping it.

“I freaking hate needles,” he said as she pushed it in and drew out the blood.

“You’ll hate syphilis more,” she said, taking the blood and putting it through the machine. When the paper printed out she read it briefly.

“Ok, you’re type O negative blood, you have no diseases, but your blood sugar’s low. You should eat something,” she said.

“Sorry, I was nervous about the test,” he said.

“Defiance is relatively free of STD’s, I made a point of eradicating them when I came to town,” she said.

“You Indogene’s sure have some good tech,” he said.

“Well give you humans a few more centuries and you’ll get there,” she answered. She walked over to the counter and unscrewed the canister.

“You can put your shirt back on,” she said as she extracted the paper. She gently unfurled it and clipped it to the board and reviewed it.

“Alright, nothing out of the ordinary,” she said “although I’m seeing some evidence of fracturing in the fifth, sixth and seventh ribs, on the right scapula, and set breaks in three fingers and the left radius but none of it seems recent.”

“It wasn’t,” he replied.

“Who beat you up?” she asked.

“An angry boss and two _Furíje Ezuchiro_ gangsters,” he answered.

“That is the dumbest Casti gang name I’ve ever heard,” she said. Keith chuckled.

“Funny, that’s what I said.”

“So I’ll put cause of injury for the fractures as overly large mouth,” she said dryly.

“Ok, you’re done, this’ll be ninety scrip,” she said. Keith sighed and handed over the money.

“Good, see you in a month. It’ll be less pricey without the imaging,” she said.

“That’s a relief,” he said, walking out. Meh tacked the blood test paper to the image and then started straightening up the exam room. She’d just put the stethoscope back on the wall hook when the door opened.

“What now?” she asked turning, but stopped when she saw it was Niles and Rafe McCawley.

“There’s something you need to see,” said Rafe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, 9 chapters in...thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Anything you want to see in this fic?  
> Feel free to comment.


	10. Chapter 10

Rafe tried to explain to Meh what he’d seen at the bottom of the hole, but she had already known. She’d seen the Kaziri herself, after all, the pods carrying Votan species. Standing over the hole with powerful floodlights trained down it, she could see that the Kaziri was gone, but the blue pods were there. And with her special eye implants, she could see even from this distance that they were full.

The floating rocks were something too.

“Why are they doing that?” asked Rafe, gesturing towards the hovering pieces as he hooked his carabiner to the wall.

“Electromagnetic levitation,” said Meh, strapping into her harness “the last part of the ark brain is programmed to protect the pods inside Kaziri, so it’ll keep the rocks levitating until it runs out of power or the Votans are taken to safety.”

“How long till it runs out?” asked Rafe.

“Lets just say you and I will be way past dentures by then,” said Meh, hooking the cable to the wall next to Rafe’s. Without much further conversation they descended the shaft. The rocks were no longer bouncing off the walls, but instead revolving in a circular motion, so they never needed to stop for one. After a good ten minutes of climbing thy reached the bottom of the shaft, and Meh promptly began to inspect the pods. They were all occupied, and all filled with votans of every species, dressed in space-gear made 3000 years before in another star system.

“They still alive in there?” asked Rafe. “Yes,” said Meh bluntly, examining an Indogene in one of the pods. The body was fresh, not desiccated. The pods had held up well after all this time, Meh thought, for a moment proud of her people’s work. Then she stepped in front of the next pod, and froze.

“Rafe, take a look at this,” she called. Rafe was there in moments.

“What is it?” he asked. Meh simply pointed at the pod. Rafe peered at the figure curled up inside it, and then gasped.

“Bertie?”


	11. Chapter 11

_Two days later_

“Where are they all going to go?” asked Mercado, frowning.

“Not sure about that yet, sir,” answered Niles.

“I mean just…” Mercado flung a hand out towards the warehouse floor. Once the warehouse had been used for storing mining equipment, but now it was housing the pods. Four hundred of them had been recovered from the wreckage of Kaziri, and now they sat in rows on the warehouse’s cement floor as Yewll and two assistants walked around identifying the ones from Earth as opposed to Kaziri’s original passengers.

“The ones Irisa gathered from out West can probably be sent on their way home. As to the ones who originally came over on Kaziri, we’re going to have to decide whether or not they should be woken up at all,” said Niles.

“Oh, that isn t a question in the slightest, Pottinger,” said Mercado.

“I’m sorry?” he asked, confused.

“The people of Defiance found out there were Votans still in hyper sleep, some of whom were friends of theirs, and when I came here they were demonstrating to have them freed,” answered Mercado.

“So what does that matter, they’ll get over it when we announce that it was impossible to free them,” said Niles, his mind already spinning towards the cover story.

“It’s too late for that. People have seen the pods, and the mayor has been vey helpful in feeding the townspeople information.”

“You’ve been…” Pottinger began, but then it clicked

“ _Amanda_?”

“So you see, people already know the truth,” Mercado said “this isn't going to be another one of your cover ups and quite frankly, you’ve done more of those than you’re entitled to.”

“So what then, we release a two hundred Votans who are going to side with the Votanis Collective? Its been confirmed that Sulos survived, viceroy. It wont be long before…”

“Yes, Pottinger, Sulos survived, but Rio De Janeiro and Belize didn’t,” said Mercado “That was where the main army of the VC was barracked, and they are now as weak as we are. And Pottinger, none of the votans in hyper sleep have any idea whats happened in the last three thousand years, and since we’re the ones getting them out of hyper sleep, I think they’ll feel more kindly towards us than a nation they never heard about.”

“But why take the risk? If the townspeople make a fuss we have enough ways of persuading them to our way of thinking,” said Niles. Mercado turned to look at him, and Niles felt the blood drain from his face. Mercado’s look told him one thing : there was something he hadn't considered.

“Niles, why do you think they let us take control of the town?” asked Mercado, his voice the light, questioning tone it took when he already knew the answer and wanted Niles to look stupid.

“Because we had guns and they mayor had just assassinated an Earth Republic….” Niles began, and then he realized.

“You think they were afraid of our guns?” asked Mercado “Niles, these people faced down an army of Volge, lost forty-one people and stayed here. No, they submitted because they knew we represented a larger force. But the Earth Republic is gone now, and with it all of our power. And if you think for a moment thats not true, remember that boy you had killed? And how you evicted Rafe McCawley? And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you let Yewll out of Reverie and who her ‘unknown VC official’ really was. I’m honestly surprised Ms. Rosewater hasn't worked it out yet…”

Niles was shaking. No, it couldn't be true, his plans were too clever, to well hidden too…

“Really Pottinger, why couldn't you just pay for sex instead of building a fake madam’s sister? I brought you here to see if you were smart enough to work with me in this new Defiance, but clearly that isn't the case. I’ll expect you on the next land coach out of town or not only is Ms. Rosewater going to find out what you did to her sister but so will the entire town. And then I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to put you on one of those quaint Castithan shaming racks.”

With that Mercado headed for the stairs. Niles, moved, getting ready to push the viceroy in the lower back, sending him tumbling down the stairs. Everyone would see it was an accident, no one would suspect…

“Oh, and before you try and kill me,” said Mercado, turning around “I’ve also told three other people, not including Rafe McCawley and the Tarrs. So if you want to stay here without anyone knowing, you’ll also have to kill them. How likely do you think that is to happen?” Niles stood there, stunned. No….

“Next land coach leaves in two hours from Darby Square,” said Mercado heading down the stairs “Goodbye Pottinger.”

Niles slumped back against the wall. No no no no….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sorry for the delay. SO this is probably the last time we'll see Niles in this fic, so I hope you enjoyed the chapter from his perspective. Thanks for reading, I'll post more soon.


	12. Chapter 12

_One day later_

“And you’re confident that will work?” asked Mercado. Yewll shrugged.

“Kaziri is weird, even by ark standards, but the pods should react normally when I use my ark brain tech to talk to them,” she explained.

“I see,” said Mercado, frowning. He paused, and then asked

“When you say talk…I’ve heard Indogenes say that before, but I’m not really sure what it means…”

“Well this fun thing right here,” said Yewll, tapping one of the dark implants on her cranium “acts as an interface between me and the tech. The machines let me connect to the ark brain and explain to it what I need done. In human speak, I’m skipping the computer coding process and just telling it what to do directly.”

“Ah, thank you for clarifying that Doctor,” said Mercado.

“Now what do you plan to do with…” he motioned at one of the pods.

“I think it would be best to release everyone else first, and then afterwards let them out. Give them a chance to blend in in the confusion,” said Yewll.

“I agree. Too many people know Irisa was the one directing the attacks. It wouldn't be safe for her and Nolan,” said Mercado.

“Kaziri directed the attacks. Kaziri is the one who destroyed everything, and Kaziri is dead except for these pods. Get the facts right,” said Yewll.

“The facts are these: if Irisa steps into onto the street she’ll be shot dead by the first person who recognizes her. Need more information?” Mercdo said sardonically.

“People have been trying to shot Irisa and Nolan dead for a long time. They never seem to do very well,” said Yewll, folding her arms, her implication clear. There was a pause, and then

“Well, we’ll keep them in there as long as possible, and give them a fair shot,” said Mercado.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some other things to take care of tonight,” he said, turning to leave.

“Pleasure talking to you,” said Yewll sarcastically, before turning towards the pods.

She’d heard the rumors, and knew that “other things” were usually the Janus Club. Personally she didn't care one way or another, but she didn't get the appeal of dressing up like a Votan. She made her way across the warehouse floor, past the heap of scavenge red ark-brain components to the pod the viceroy had pointed out. She stood there for a moment, looking in at its occupants. And even in her highly rational mind, she had to admit that they looked peaceful.

She hoped it would last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments anyone?


	13. Chapter 13

_Two weeks later_

“Ah speak…very small…”

“Little, not small” said Nya smiling as she led the Castithan man down the hall.

“very little Enngleesh, but that was….good?” he said, looking to her for confirmation. She smiled and nodded. He smiled back at her before they walked down the stairs together, into the crowd of the Need/Want. It was even more crowded than usual, with all the refugees from Kaziri finally freed from their pods.

The Votans had been hesitant at first, she remembered. She remembered walking down Congi Street a week earlier, past the refugee tents that had been set up, and noticing Kylak hide himself behind a tent flap as she approached, afraid of the human. Whereas now…. she smiled at Kylak as he thanked her again for her services and left. Even if the rest of Defiance was frightening to the refugees, the Need/Want spoke a language everyone understood: fun.

“Busy night?” asked Keith, leaning against the bar. She smiled at him.

“Fully booked all night. You?”

“I won’t be sitting down for a while,” he said, smirking. Nya laughed.

“I heard Amanda talking about raising prices with all the new business,” he said.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” she said, scanning her eyes for her next client. She’d just settled on a miner sprawled in a chair with a tumbler of whiskey when the door opened. When she saw who came in she gasped.

“What is it, what's wrong?” asked Keith, startled.

“Coming in the door! Its the law keeper!” She said. Keith looked over.

“Thats not Berlin,” he said.

“No, not Berlin, Lawkeeper Nolan!” she exclaimed. Nolan was standing inside the door, eyes scanning the room. Nya ran up to him.

“Law Keeper! Where have you been?” she asked.

“Not now Nya, where’s Amanda?” he asked, his voice gruff.

“In her room with…” Nolan ran past her before she could finish “..the viceroy,” Nya said.

She shrugged and decided she’d get the story later. She went back to the bar, but Keith was gone.

***

“So, what do you think?” Mercado asked, leaning back in his chair.

“I think its a good idea. Reopening Defiance to public elections will give the townspeople back our sense of independence, and if the E-Rep soldiers de-militarize…”

“What and leave the town unprotected?” asked Mercado.

“…from E-Rep soldiers into Defiance militia, it’ll help even more with ending the occupation,” she finished. Mercado looked chastened.

“Forgive me, Madam Mayor, I should have known you’d be more strategic than that,” he said.

“Thank you. In the interim, we should add them to the building details.”

“I don’t know if the soldiers will..”

The door was flung open, hitting the wall with a resounding thud. Amanda turned around, angry words rising in her throat… …that withered away the moment she saw who was standing in the door.

“Nolan?” she gasped.

“Amanda, quick I need your…” he began, but stopped when she said “But…you…you’re dead.” She stopped, thought about that, and said “You’re supposed to be dead.”

“Well clearly I’m not, and I really need your help Amanda,” he said.

Amanda closed her eyes and took a breath. Connor had died. Kenya had disappeared. Nolan had left. Kenya had come back, only to be shown as a sick creation of Dr. Yewll’s. The Tarrs had killed Kenya. Nolan and Irisa died. So much pain, so much unexpected tragedy. She could handle this.

She opened her eyes.

“What do you need?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, in any case I hope you enjoy.  
> As always, comments are appreciated.


	14. Chapter 14

Irisa stopped running and paused to catch her breath. Turning around, she saw the lights of Defiance behind her and all around her the snowcapped mountains colored starkly in the bright moonlight. She looked around, and realized where she’d run to.

She almost laughed.

Sitting down on the ground she rested her back against one of the white tombstones. It was perfect, even she couldn't deny that. She’d killed thousands of people. She’d destroyed two entire countries in less than a day. When she’d started running she’d only wanted to get away, but of course she’d wind up in the cemetery.

Idly, she pulled out one of her blades.

And of course, being in the cemetery would make it that much easier afterwards. Kaziri wasn't infecting her anymore. Two cuts and it’d be over and done with. They could bury her where she lay. She wondered briefly if the Spirit Riders would ask to dissolve her flesh and retain the bones as was tradition, but considering everything she’d done, they’d probably just let her rot. She sighed, and then leaned back, looking up. Above her was the moon, the stars, and the tiny, shimmering pieces of the long destroyed arks. She touched the cold metal to her bare arm, and closed her eyes.

“That’s not going to work.” Irisa’s eyes snapped open. Sitting against a tree directly in front of her was a young man. He was sitting half in the shadows, which was probably why Irisa hadn't noticed him.

“It’s cold out. You’ll bleed slower, and town’s only a mile away. I’ll be able to get a doctor back here before you bleed out.”

“Then I’ll cut my throat,” Irisa said, raising the knife to her jugular and pressing.

“Why would you do that?” he asked.

“I killed thousands of people. I killed someone I loved,” Irisa said, choking on the word _love_.

“So you’re going to kill yourself to get out of reparation?” he asked.

“How the hell can anyone repair THIS!?” she yelled. The sharp blade cut her throat a little, and she felt something warm and wet dripping down her neck.

“Thats for you to work out,” he said. He pushed himself off the ground and leaned back against the tree.

“I’m avenging the one who killed everyone,” Irisa said “I have worked it out.” She gripped the knife, and got ready to cut deep.

“You’re running away.”

Irisa stopped.

“I was an indentured worker in the Topeka mines for the first twelve years of my life. After that I starved half the time in my farming job and again working as a prostitute in Manhattan, and even when I got out of that I still worked breaking my back fixing wind turbines on no food and without shelter. I wanted to die so many times, I lost count of how many rivers I threw myself into or cuts I made or buildings I climbed. But every time, I stopped, and I chose to make my life better. Now I live here, and my life is good for the first time in forever.”

The young man walked out from the shadows and past Irisa, towards town. After a few steps he turned back, and looked at her.

“Running away doesn’t fix a problem. And what you’re doing is only going to add one more body to the millions who are already dead. If you really want to kill yourself, then I wont stop you. But if you want to live and help people instead of killing them, then come back to Defiance.”

Irisa sat there, unmoving. She was trying to be strong, to not let his words sway her, but what he was saying made sense.

“I cant go back and see those people. Not after this,” she said “they’ll never take me back after what I’ve done.”

“I have no idea who you are so I don't know about that…but if you make that cut neither will you,” he said. Tears pricked her eyes. Something about the way he talked reminded her of Tommy- a belief that she could do anything, be someone she never thought she would be- deputy, girlfriend, wife even….

“Why are you here?” she asked. The young man was silent, and then he said

“I guess I just wanted to be alone.”

Irisa stood up and walked past him, brushing tears from her eyes. She felt her implacable, hard personality forming inside her again, and was glad. It was better than killing herself. She walked a few more paces, then stopped, and turned.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Keith. I work at the Need/Want,” he answered “who are you?”

“Irisa, I used to be a deputy here,” she said. Keith gave a short bark of laughter, but she could tell there wasn't much humor in it.

“Of course you are,” he said.

“What does that mean?” asked Irisa, ire rising in her.

“Nothing. Of course I want to be alone and Joshua “No Man” Nolan’s daughter finds me,” he said. He stalked past Irisa and back down the trail without elaborating further.

Irisa watched him go. She turned to look back at the headstone. She could still do it. Keith wouldn't know she’d done it till it was too late, and by then…

She stopped her thoughts there, and shut her eyes, breathing in and out slowly.

No.

No, she’d take her penance, alive.

She’d be strong.

For Tommy, she’d be strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sorry for the delay, hope you all enjoy this chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so we've met Evers and Keith- stay tuned for what they get up to next chapter! Will post it soon, I promise.


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